Week 6 - Whores and Submarines

WEDNESDAY 9PM

This is going to be a short one. I've been on a 57 hour poker binge and I'm fucking exhausted. I woke up broke on Monday and found out I lost a job before it began. I immediately took the khakis and white button down I bought for the gig back to Steinmart and got my $80 back. I took that $80 to the poker room at Harrah's and have spent the last 57 hours either there or in my bed. The first session I ran that $80 up to 3K, but for the majority of the time I was up and down between a thousand and two thousand. I left there yesterday morning with $1800 after falling asleep at the table several times. The dealer had to wake me up pretty much every hand during the last hour to post my blinds. I was finally able to leave and came back here to get some sleep. Before knocking out I called this black chick I go to every now and then that I met at Little Darlins. Last time she came over a man waited for her in the car with a baby. She'll fuck you right off the bed but. After I nutted I slept for 7 or 8 hours and went back.  I was there up until a half hour ago. I'd say the most I had in front of me the last 24 hours was 5K. The least amount was nothing, which is what I left with. On top of it all I forgot to get my parking validated and didn't feel like going back to the casino so I had to tail a guy through the toll. Well fuck it lets go.

LAST THURSDAY

My account is cleaned out. I'm sitting around the apartment studying wines and French cuisine, bored as fuck. I absolutely must get some action on these baseball games. I call my boy Leroy, who puts shit in for me when my accounts are tapped. I'm into him for $600 at this point. It was $3000 a couple months ago but I had a nice run in the poker room and took care of most of it. You gotta pay off the people you see the most, or you feel like a complete fuck up when they're around. Every other friend I owe money to is in a different state, so they have to wait a little bit longer to get theirs. 

Leroy throws a $50 parlay in for me - Cards and Tigers. Loser.

FRIDAY

No Action.

SATURDAY

I wake up and deposit $100 that I borrowed for Annie to pay my phone bill. I pay my phone bill twice a month. She never seems to notice.

I get 100% freeplay with Islandbet.com. I'll play with them for now on because not only do they give nice bonuses, but they have mobile betting so I can place bets on my phone when Annie's around and just act like I'm on Facebook updating my status or commenting or some bullshit . She wouldn't know the difference because we're not friends on the FB. It used to be very problematic. Whenever she would go out one of her idiot friends would take pictures of the entire night and post them. That's shit I don't need to see. So Annie spent a couple nights in hotel rooms a little afraid of me. But after I de-friended her we haven't had any problems at all. 

I love Illinois today because I watched them play for five minutes last week and thought they looked great. They play Ohio State who is terrible, even though they built up a big lead on Nebraska last week before blowing it. But that's the thing. They blew it and they're playing a fired up, undefeated, Illinois team. I take the $100 freeplay and parlay them with LSU, and BAMA(the two best teams in the country that I'm going to bet every fucking game until they meet). I put the the $100 cash on Illinois. 

Bama and LSU cover easily. I go for a jog and get back midway through the first half of the Illinois game. I am immediately distressed when I notice a man standing on the Illinois sideline. How could I not remember this? I did it again. I didn't do my due diligence. Fuck me man. Fuck me. It's Ron Fucking ZOOK!!! This fucking guy. The worst coach in the history of college football. 

I turn the TV off. I'm dead. No point in watching this guy blow every game changing decision. 

I go get a burrito at Juan's with Annie. Juan's blows. I tell myself I'm never coming back every time, but here I am, holding this piece of shit burrito. Annie is eating some vegetable bullshit, oblivious to how wrong this place it. Annie's the Honey Badger of dining. She really doesn't give a shit.

When we get home Annie wants to watch this bullshit coming of age flick Submarine. I'm not down with it. As far as coming of age flicks go, if it ain't The Graduate, get it the fuck away from me. 

I procrastinate while she watches Real Housewives of somewhere. As long as she's doing that I can watch the games I wanted to bet and root for the other team. Turns out I would have been a loser again.  

She falls asleep before the we can get Submarine in the DVD player. My only winner of the day.

SUNDAY

Leroy puts in a $50 parlay for me - Bills, Philly, San Fran, and the Cowgirls. I can stay home and watch the games because the only early game worth a shit is my Bills v Giants. San Fran and Philly I can stream on my Mac.

While I act like an 8 year old, Annie loads up her car with some things she picked up to take back to Alexandria with her(I forgot to mention what a beautiful week I had without her being around.) 

I'm sure she wants to get in some intimacy and bang before she pushes off, but I'm just not feelin it. She forgot to take her birth control the other night, which I've been using as a "get out of bangin" card all weekend. But this morning she said something like, "It should be OK." Well it's not OK with me. Sometimes you just don't feel like fucking your girlfriend.

The Bills break my heart, but get me a push. The Niners and Philly cover handily. Annie starts a bullshit fight with me and ends up storming out of the apartment in tears. Winners across the board.

I really don't know what to say about the fight. I was right and she's fucking crazy is about all I can ever come up with.

The Cowgirls lock me up. I finally hit a nice parlay. I break Leroy off with $150, taking us back down to $500, and put the rest on the Vikings catching 3. I love the fucking Vikings tonight.

The Vikings get absolutely destroyed. Halfway through the second quarter I turn the game off and throw in Submarine. 

Not a bad flick.